Team members don’t always get along. Make sure they own the problem and the solution

As a manager there will be times when employees come to you because they are not happy with something that someone else on the team is doing or not doing. This can be anything from, “Joe Employee doesn’t listen to me,” to “He doesn’t smile at me when I walk by or say hello every morning.” Of course since people know the rule about bringing a solution when they come to discuss their problem, they indicate their preferred solution is that I talk with the other person and fix it. This is not an acceptable solution.

Everyone needs to learn to get along with his or her teammates. There will be times when there are issues that need to be worked out. These issues should be worked out between the team members themselves. People need to learn how to work through issues and you stepping in won’t help them learn. Some people will not be comfortable having a conversation, so it can be a good idea to walk them through some potential things to say and ice breakers to get things started. From that point, it is important that they take the steps to initiate and complete the conversation with the other individual. They need to own the solution as well as the problem.

Please note that if the issue has to do with safety, harassment, or a violation of policies, you do need to step in immediately and get involved. You might even want to contact human resources depending on the severity of the issue. But if it is something that requires a conversation between the two individuals, then that is exactly what should happen and it should be initiated by the individual and approached in a manner that is seeking resolution not confrontation. The part about seeking resolution is an important point to remind them of. It is not going to do anyone any good if they go in guns blazing. I also remind them to try and understand the other person’s point of view and listen to them during the conversation. I steal from Covey and tell them, “Seek first to understand then to be understood.” It helps in reaching a resolution.

As a leader you find yourself in a position to help others grow. Don’t let growth opportunities be missed because you want to solve problems for people or be the hero.

Final note: Remember as a leader never to go to the person you report to and ask him or her to fix something that you should be solving yourself.